Week Four.

I know, I know. Another two days late. Sorry I keep forgetting =/

Let's see... last week... Man. I have memory issues.

The only thing that happened at school that was of any significance was that I got a packet of Hot Tamales from Mike. That honestly made my day.

I got to webcam with Caitlin :D and Ryn too! Sigh. Such wonderfulness.

Friday was Luke's 17th birthday. Happy birthday bro :)

Saturday morning was hockey. Boy that was great. I was a beast, not gonna lie. I scored a goal, which I consider an accomplishment... I usually hang back and let Gwen or Todd or someone take the goal... I just happened to be in the right place at the right time :). Anyawy, it was awesome. Afterwards, I went over Leah's and got some homework done... Sunday morning, I woke up, inevitably, sore. It wasn't a particularly enjoyable experience, but I definitely felt accomplished. It was also Zach's birthday, so we went out to lunch. I got Chipotle, expecting much goodness... but I was disappointed. It was a disappointing lunch. The rest of the day held nothing but homework. Disappointing, I know.

So, I should leave off here. That would be far too banal (vocab word, thank you very much.) Speaking of vocab... kinda... this is sorta a bad segway, but it's the best I can do. Tomorrow, I'm taking the PSAT's. I didn't know that until this morning... and I can tell you, I haven't been this upset in a long time.

No one understands why I'm upset. I hardly even know. All day, I've heard the same thing from my parents... "I don't understand!" They don't get it.

As soon as my mom told me I was taking the test tomorrow, I freaked out. I went up to my room and cried into my pillow for ten minutes... then, my mom called my dad and forced me to talk to him on the phone. I stayed silent the whole time, because I was crying and didn't want him to know.

So I cried most of this day away. I'd suddenly pick up my PSAT book and study for an hour or two... then stop and remember what was actually held in store for tomorrow... and burst into tears again. So yeah. It's been rough.

I'm not sure why I do this. But I've always been this way. I totally stress-out over tests or papers or projects, and I literally convince myself I will do poorly. I have so much stress inside of me, I don't even know how it's possible that I can still be intact. I should've exploded loooonnggg ago.

It's how I am. I hate it. But it's me.

Oh, how I need you Lord.