Week Two

Yes, I am posting this two days late. It's past 11:00 and I have school tomorrow, which means I'll be getting six hours of sleep tonight. Greeeatt.

I'm posting this late, mostly because I totally forgot Sunday night. Monday night I remembered, and then promptly forgot again. And now it's Tuesday night, 11:08, and I don't know quite what to say.

It's strange how your perception of something can be changed so dramatically over just a few days. Your perception of people, or of school, or of political issues, or of life in general. How strange is that?

I'm going to write a book. It'll be called something like, The Life and Times of the Christian American Teenager, or something. I need to start writing it, quick. It's about a girl, and it'll be all about her life, ranging from age twelve to age... somewhere in her early twenties, I'm thinking? The reason I need to start it quickly is so I can better write the book, to make it more realistic... otherwise I won't remember what it actually was like to be twelve, thirteen, and fourteen. I kind of remember, but it's already fading. So I better pick up a pen, quick! (hah, yeah right. More like pick up my laptop. Who writes with actual writing utensils these days?)


So over the course of last week, I've decided to write a book. I've decided to grow up a little. I've decided to make big decisions (heh). I've decided to think more clearly about what I want. I've decided to try my hardest. I've decided to not complain so much (because it's dreadfully annoying).

Last week was pretty straightforward. Nothing bad happened. Nothing good happened. School on Monday was slightly more enjoyable. Wednesday we didn't even go to BBC; they were having a funeral and we got kicked out. We're really hoping there won't be any more funerals.

Wednesday evening, after school, I went over the Johnson's to hang out with my BA gang. Hehe. That was fun.

Friday night, I went to play hockey at my church. My team was pretty beast. Okay, we lost one or two, but I think we beat mostly everyone too. Afterwards, we went to the Tastee Diner and got some of the best milkshakes in the worlddd. Saturday morning, I was sore. Saturday day, I wrote an entire essay and completed a test :D. Saturday evening, I went to the piano burning at my church. Julie, Brandon and Andy came. It was... well. Interesting, to say the least. We didn't even burn the piano.

Sunday, I went to church... got home... and sorta hung around all day. I can't tell you about this week at all, so I'll stop there.

So you know what I was saying before? How my perception has changed, and all that?

I'd love to tell you why. I really would.

But I can't. I can't even tell you the situation. Not that I know who "you" are, or if "you" even exist. I really have no idea who truly reads this. Regardless, I cannot tell "you" the idea of, if I may say, enormous significance that came to me this past weekend. I discussed the idea with my dad however, and he was mildly surprised, but did not reject the idea.

I wish I could tell you just how much this "idea" means to me. It's probably the biggest decision of my life, so far of course. Honestly. It will literally change my life, in an incredibly dramatic way. And I can't even talk about it, to hardly anyone! (only four people on this planet know about it, and two of those four are my parents, and one of those four lives in Maine). So I know that now that I've said this, I HAVE to tell you. Well, I will eventually. But it may be months. Can't wait that long? Sorry. It's such a big deal, that there's no way you're getting it out of me. Well. it's such a big deal for me. It may have an impact on several other people... but it will mostly impact me.

I know you're probably dying of curiosity now. Sorry =/. Prayer may make this decision-making process go faster... Prayer for clarity and guidance. Please. This is so huge, and it all hinges on what God wants me to do. And I honestly haven't a clue.

LORD-

Help me. Help me to hear your voice, in order that this decision can be made. Although it's just in the very beginning of the long and tiring process, I pray that I may make the right decision when the time comes.

Oh Lord. Please allow me to have an open mind, and a clear mind. Help me to not be distracted by this impending decision, but rather put it from my mind, for now. I have months to make this decision, and that means months of prayer.

And Lord... when it comes down to it? Allow your choices for me to allign with the choices I have for myself. Lord, no matter what, your decision is law... but I'd really love if I liked your decision too.

Please Lord. I know that regardless, this decision will bring disappointment and heart-break, no matter which choice I make. Allow for that to be reduced, as much as possible.

And Lord?

Thank you.

In your name,
Amen.